I originally wrote this post to close out 2019 and the 20-teens effectively. Whether it’s your year-end review or the end of a relationship or whatever, I hope you make use of these 5 ways to finish strong.
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Pause.
A good ending requires time, but its easy to rush on to the next exciting thing, so take some time to soak in the finish and let closure happen. Ideally, you’ve done this pre-New Year’s Eve. If not, take a couple of afternoons in a coffee shop or in your study and reflect on last year. I actually like to spend a bit of that time without much agenda, letting whatever comes to mind come to mind. You might want to wander through last year’s calendar if you want some more structure to your reflections. While you’re at it…
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Celebrate.
As Inception taught us, positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time. A good, full ending is going to make space to remember and internalize all the good or the redemptive that has come. This helps solidify our values, and may grant insight as to what you want to be true of the next stage.
I’ve had several break-ups that I was sad about, since I liked certain things about the relationship that ended. But that was a win, really: it helped me realize what I really wanted in a partner, so I could make future decisions with that in mind. -
Grieve.
You said goodbye to some things this year, or this decade. Nothing wrong with that. Say another goodbye, maybe a prayer for whatever or whoever it was. Whatever you need to do to continue letting go and moving on; whatever you need to help you accept the inevitable loss of something.
Chances are you feel mixed emotions; nostalgia, anger, denial, sadness. Don’t try to stop any of them — you’ll only slow the grieving process down, if one is happening.
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Look for what could be better.
Write down as much or as little as you’d like. Don’t make resolutions. Take one small “needs improvement” and turn it into a goal for the next few weeks. Hit the ground running! Refer back to your bigger list later in the year and you can start to pick away at where you’ve been falling short.
As a Christian, a new year can remind me of the “clean slate” Jesus gives. Contrary to popular catch phrases, a new year doesn’t mean I’m a new person, but it’s an opportunity to make some resets as I prayerfully try to live as the new person Jesus is making me. -
Put it all in context.
How does this past year fit into the story of your life? Have these failures been with you for a long time? Do they speak to something deeper you need to deal with? What about your successes? How far have you come?
These reflections should serve you in understanding the place you find yourself. Whatever place that is, you need to accept it, good and bad. You may not like it, and that’s ok. Just knowing where you’re at is a huge win at times.
It’s been helpful for me to reflect on my “story” positively. Like #2, positive emotion wins, and it can be helpful to remember that even the most tragic parts of a story have purpose. God is the Author, and he doesn’t make mistakes.
What do you do to make the most of the endings and transitions in your life? This list could go on – feel free to comment below!
