They’re easy to pass over. Even the ones we buy for others – do we really put all that much thought into them?
Perhaps we should. Either way, I think it’s safe to assume that the people who buy you your birthday cards actually believe the encouraging words found within them, cheesy as they may be. They probably believe them – and mean them – even if they don’t (or can’t) say them to your face directly.
It’s an unfortunate reality in our culture that we have trouble expressing our deepest appreciations of people, but that doesn’t mean we should think that underlying realities aren’t true. And with all the mental health issues and sadness going around, why not take what we can get?
And if you don’t get sweet birthday cards or other words of affection… my heart is with you. Maybe you don’t have people – and you need to find them. Maybe you have the wrong people, and you need to change your support system.
Or maybe you aren’t so deserving of any such words and need to change and grow. We all have ugly, and some of us don’t own it. Be real with yourself, own your failures, and work on your character.
Actually, I would recommend this approach for all of us. Spiritually, this is the humble approach: to assume that I am at least part of the problem. Being a Christian, this has to be my first instinct. Psychologically, we know that humble people who contribute to society are happier and achieve higher status because of their meaningful contributions. So if you want to receive, you first need to give.
This doesn’t mean we find our ultimate value in earning the affections of others. That’s a dangerous trap.
You are loved and valuable, quite simply, because you are created. God doesn’t make mistakes, either in making you or in how he’s made you. And he has uniquely gifted you with power to contribute and bless the lives of others. You are valuable – and uniquely so – in and of yourself.
That’s my view, at least, and I don’t think you should be ashamed at reminding yourself of this. And don’t just tell yourself these things. Go out and live like it’s true. Contribute, like you matter. Because you do.
So next time you get some cheesy birthday cards, don’t think of them as cheesy. Read them, dwell on them, and appreciate them for the beautiful words they are. Then live like they’re true.
You are loved.
Corey
