Alright. Now that COVID has flattened the curve of social skills, it means we’re all on even ground.
I finally have a fighting chance.
Alright maybe not, since introversion is mostly biological and extroverts will always have the advantage. But COVID finally lifting seems as good a time as any to make some healthy changes and challenge oneself. Here are a few ways to be less socially awkward and challenge your comfort zone.
#1: Stare at people in the eyes
Like literally stare at them.
I get this from Tim Ferris, an advocate of doing the uncomfortable. He suggests making a practice of staring at people even if they look right back at you. It’s hard to do – staring is strange, makes both parties feel weird, and even might come across as a challenge. But the idea is to push yourself into the uncomfortable – once again, to make yourself comfortable.
He suggests just doing it as you’re out on walks. Likely, they’ll just look away. Worst case scenario, someone gets upset and asks “what you looking at?” All you have to say is “You look a lot like a friend of mine. My bad.”
I can’t remember if he suggested this but it’s my recommendation: keep it to same-sex stares. Opposite sex glances are more creepy.
#2: Strike up conversations with strangers
Level up from #1. Now instead of looking at people in the eyes, you’re going to look them in the eyes, make coherent sentences, and force genuine interest in the words that come back at you.
I know it sounds hard, fam. But remember the words of the great sage, Shia LaBoef:
JUST. DO IT.
Like many things anxiety-inducing, it’s hard but risks aren’t as high as you’d think.
This practice would just plain make the world a better place, and I think we could all use some of it post-quarantine. Highly recommend.
Great candidates: food service workers.
#3: Try speaking in front of a “crowd”
Consider this a baby step, a way to fail forward, even. The only way to get better at it is to do it, and it’s not the end of the world if it fails. Even the best comics bomb all their jokes in front of friends and others, trying to find the delivery that works. If you find it difficult to talk to groups in general, you’re normal. Baby steps, trial and error – they’re your friends!
#4: Call up that very quarantined friend and catch up
Now we’re not just having surface-level conversations. We’re going deep.
Some of you have been going deep all COVID. You’ve got family at home. You’re chatting with friends on FaceTime. Or you’ve just been seeing friends within your bubble.
Either way, never hurts to connect in person and connect deeply. It might even be hard for some of you. Quarantine may have been a whole lot of emotional comfort zone time, especially for the introverted or withdrawn types who are inclined to embrace that life. If you’re that type, then you need this step more than you know.
These four steps build on each other for a reason. They can be surprisingly hard for some, even pre-COVID. In reality, they never cease to be challenging. But with practice, the spirit strengthens and the comfort zone stretches. And that’s the point – get uncomfortable so that you can find yourself more comfortable with who you are and realize who you are becoming. That, I’ve heard someone say, is character.
